1ST MARCH 2026
HONK HONK It’s the first of March. Yes it definitely is. Time is racing along and we gotta get w the programme and get on w it. Soon it will be Christmas and beyond. Even though my big ‘thing’ is that I appear to be 12 years old with zero gravitas and a squeaky little girls voice : I have wrinkles. I’m starting to look like Benjamin Button.
March
What’s as shite as February? March. Not really, it’s better as we are getting the light back into the north zone. For a trogladyte-adjacent person such as myself, living in permadark-permacold is appropriate to assist me in the correct level of misery I need to feel seen, but even trolls feel the spring-fever popping off in the synaps. We consider putting on a bikini before shuffling back to the washing basket to find a dank hoodie to crawl into. In winter I wear my indoor jumper outside, but once March comes I think, no, just wear your indoor jumpers inside, and put ur outside clothes on outside. Know what I mean.
So what’s the point of this one then?
It’s getting harder and harder to say. A monthly newsletter does expose that you basically live the same month over and over again, but maybe it will provoke me to try mushrooms or go to a nightclub in order to provide content. I appreciate why Kardashians get their eyes lasered on telly now. I did lose 5 subscribers last month, but I can’t work out who they are and they’re not reading this so I guess I will just have to assume they pressed unsubscribe by mistake. The other option is just too terrible to imagine.
BIG WEBBO REVEAL
Actually there is some news. Even though my new website isn’t ready, it turns out I have accidentally published it anyway. If you want to see it in its shonky infancy - go here!
A hot potato of a URL cos I am toying with de-anglicising my name but I haven’t the balls. See : Morbheinn Ó Maolchraoibhe. If you are my friend could you cope with me de-anglicising my name. Could you support me on my journey ‘cos I do have a couple of Gaelic names from both side of the Irish sea and really wouldn’t it be a shame not to use ‘em. Also it’s possible you don’t really care.
Do you want a pot?
I have a few things I have put on my webshite for purchase. One of them is this pot. It’s £60 plus postage. It’s woodfired and has some lovely shiny bits, some metal bit, some brown bits and some sort of matt/shiny inbetweeny bits. Putting dirt in a fire and getting the result out is a very human thing to do. Sort of weird but also sort of good. have a look at the incomplete Grotto here - GROTTO
Astrolonomy
An exposing element of this blog is that whilst I can google things to do with astronomy, I find that the astrology part is harder beyond me making it up. Are there any astrology people out there that can help me? I can’t promise we will ascend anywhere beyond this blog but it could be that we end up doing a podcast you never know. It could be fun. For now, here we go Pisces!
It’s PISCES time. Which does put me in mind of fish, a subject close to my heart as a part-time salmon by-product administrator. I am thinking that Pisceans are getting described as slippery sometimes, but in this reading we are going for mercurial and fluid. They can pivot with grace. And they are also glittery and glamorous but also sometimes a bit smelly?
Pisces the Constellation (firmer ground) is very interesting because it’s on the ecliptic plane. That could be described as the path the sun appears to travel around the Earth once per year. And the solar system as well. POV you’re the Earth only. From other bits in the galaxy not so much. We are one pitiful star in a rather mediocre galaxy that contains about 100-400 billion stars. So don’t be too sure what is up down or on the ecliptic plane.
Inside the constellation we got a nice Messier object called M74 which is a very classic gorgeous spiral galaxy
You can see why all those tie dye t-shirts were invented in 1970s with all these bloody pics coming in. That top one is from the James Webb Telescope and the bottom one Wikipedia. Alot of this will be gas. And the gas gets hot and makes new stars. Basically. Hydrogen.
Creative Writing
No this blog is still not finished. Would you like to read a short story I wrote about a lady with too much hair growing? Here it is:
And her hair would not stop growing, just like her big lying nose, bursting out of her head and armpits and legs no matter the season or time of day and soon enough out of her nose her ears her eyeballs and everywhere on her body so much so that she thought there would be nothing left for the end of the follicle to grip behind, that her skin would become like a net rather than a solid surface, with the holes expanding and expanding until the rounded ball at the end of the follicle popped out and the whole structure of her body would start to break down.
And soon enough again after that her nails began to burst through her feet and hands, she had heard of this before when her mother had a caesarean and the doctor saw teeth growing in the womb but this was exponential- 2.4.8.16.32.64 nails growing at an unbearable pace, needing clipped by the hour, minute, second but then bursting out of a new part and a new part and never slowing for a minute. Cells vibrant, fecund, fast moving.
And then the tears and wetness came, pouring out of all of her orifices at such a rate that she had to drink pints and pints of water but she still felt dry, dessicated, never plump, and she had to towels with her everywhere as well as nail clippers and the scissors – her bag was really heavy and the strap dug into her shoulders.
It was very exposing, and, humiliating, but also everyone was so nice to her, kind middle class people set up gofundmes to research into what cures for diseases she could provide and men emailed her, offering to cut her hair and carry her towels if she came to gala fundraisers as their plus-one.
When the hair stopped replacing itself in the holes she started to bald, first from the head, but then neck shoulders torso thigh calves. She had bald toes.
And the holes in her skin left behind by the follicles meant her muscle and fat popped out of her skin.
Forever then she wore a dressing gown because she was always cold.
THANKS FOR READING, AND BYE BYE!
